Chapter 29: Engaged!

Nancy:

    For several days, there was more than a presumptuous hint that Loren would propose to me, and frankly I was getting very nervous. As a matter of fact I was thinking, “I wish he would just give me some time, I need a little more time! I know it’s right, but I wish I had more time!”

    I decided to take that Friday off work. Since Loren had moved up from Dallas, I’d spent most of my time with him, so I’d neglected some other things around the house. I also needed to have my hair done. Plus, I needed some time alone.

    After returning from my hair appointment, I thought, “All right, I’m going to go with it.” But I was basically waiting around to be asked, so I didn’t know how to plan for that. A lot of thoughts went through my mind. Then a scene from the movie Moonstruck occurred to me, in which a marriage proposal had taken place without a ring.

    “By golly,” I thought, “we’ve been looking at rings and everything . . .” so I let that thought get my Italian dander up, and I telephoned him at work.

    “Loren, you’ve made it pretty plain that you intend to propose to me tomorrow night,” I said. “So all I can say is that you’d better have something to back up what you say. If you plan on asking me to marry you, then you’d better have a token of your affection on hand. Now, it doesn’t need to be something big, but you’d better not show up empty-handed if you’re planning to propose to me!”

    Oh, what a brat I was!

    The next day, Loren came over at noon. We were planning to attend a wedding in another hour, so we’d both dressed nicely. And when he arrived, he brought two red roses in a vase. “This better not be his token of affection,” I thought to myself as he set them on the table. But Loren just smiled and said, “More surprises to come.”

    On our way to the wedding, I knew I had to mention something else to him. “Oh, by the way. You’ll probably end up meeting most of my old friends from the publishing house today, and they’ll probably look you over.” Loren looked at me sideways as though he was nervous, but kept on smiling. He’d been through this many times by now.

    As we sat in the church, awaiting the ceremony, the entire marketing crew arrived and took up seats behind us: four blond women, whom we referred to as ‘The Four Blonds’. They were straining and craning their necks to see who I was with. I suppose we’d become the side show while awaiting the main attraction.

    Afterward, at the reception, Loren was hit with a barrage of introductions. It was great, and he did wonderfully! He probably met 100 or so people that afternoon, and many of them wanted to chat with him to see what he was like. They all wanted to make sure he was good enough for their old friend—me!

    Finally I checked the clock and it was 10 minutes till four. “We have to go home and change,” I said, because we had dinner reservations downtown at six.

Loren:

    After attending the wedding, we returned to our apartments to change clothes. On the way, I took Nancy’s car and filled it with gas. “Here’s that ‘token of affection’ you wanted,” I thought with a mischievous chuckle. “Gets ‘em every time!”

    At a little after five o’clock, I returned to her apartment. She wasn’t quite ready, so I sat in her office and listened to a Charlotte Church CD. I was musing on the evening to come when Nancy suddenly walked into the room, singing along with the music she heard. The lyrics were: “It will not be long now till our wedding day,” and she sang it in a soft, sweet voice that was coy.

    I looked up in wonder. Nancy was wearing that same gorgeous dress that she’d worn at the Christmas party, on the night when I’d gotten the ‘red stripes’! And when she sang those words, my heart nearly stopped beating. Literally, I was overwhelmed by her presence. “Oh my gosh!” I thought, “I’m going to ask this girl to marry me tonight!”

    I’d brought along a white corsage with a purple ribbon, which I presented and pinned on her lapel. “Ow!” she teased, as though I’d plucked her, and we both started laughing. “More surprises to come.” I said again, as I took her arm and led her to the car.

    On the way downtown, Nancy was getting nervous again. We chatted a bit, but neither of us can remember what was discussed. I think more than anything we were anticipating the evening to come.

At the restaurant we were seated promptly. Soon we were joined in the dining room by more than a dozen teenage girls and their dates, all of them dressed for the prom. “Poor girls!” I thought to myself. “Here it’s their big night, and Nancy outshines them all!”

    This particular restaurant featured singing waiters and waitresses with a repertoire from famous musicals. They were really very talented, which made up for their spaghetti not being so good. But of course our minds were on other things as our conversation continued.

    I was trying to enjoy the evening and not rush things. I wanted to savor the whole experience and allow her the same pleasure. Of course, Nancy had long ago guessed where the night was heading, and I suppose she thought I was nervous about it. It was going slowly, so she tried to be helpful. At one point, she threw out a little ‘something’ to bridge the gap, which would make it easier for me to bring up the subject.

    When I realized this, I smiled at her amiably: “Nancy, I don’t think it’s fair for a man to propose to a woman in a public place like a restaurant. She may feel pressured to say ‘Yes’ just to keep him from feeling embarrassed. A gentleman would propose to her privately, so she could speak her mind freely. I’ll talk to you about it some more, later tonight.”

    This was the first time I’d actually acknowledged that, yes, I did intend to propose to her that night. The evening assumed a much more serious tone, yet it was thrilling as well, and our adrenalin was pumping.

Nancy:

    After dinner, as Loren escorted me to the car, he opened the car door for me. But as I was seated, his knuckle thumped on something in his coat pocket. He came around to let himself in, buckled up, and then lightly thumped it again. “Did you hear something?” he asked.

    Of course, every woman in American knows that sound—it was that curious, cupped sound of something in a jewelry box!

    We didn’t talk very much on the way to my apartment—there was just too much expectancy in the air. When we arrived, he opened the door as I slipped off my sparkly black shoes by the porch, and we went inside. Next he took my coat and placed it on the rack by the door. Then he took my hands and led me over to my big Queen Anne chair, and sat me in the chair very gently. He said that he’d like to have a word with me, if he may. It was about 8:30 p.m.

    As tears clouded my eyes, Loren bent down on one knee. He took my hand so gently in his own and began to say . . . I haven’t got a clue, because my mind went totally blank!

Loren:

    The next day at work, Nancy called me with an embarrassing question. She couldn’t remember a thing I’d said when I’d proposed the night before. She asked if I would mind writing it down while it was still fresh in my mind, and sending it to her by email. I told her I would do it after work. Thanks to that emotional lapse, those words have survived in our email album to this day. As I knelt to one knee and gently took her hand, this is what I said to her:

    “Nancy, we’ve known each other for about a year now, and we’ve spent a lot of time getting to know each other; first through email, then through phone calls and weekend visits, and then through visiting your relatives and friends. And now I’ve actually moved here, to always be near you.

    “I was thinking this morning of our first meeting, when I came to Tulsa last Easter. I knew immediately that I liked you, and that I really wanted to give our relationship a chance. I wasn’t sure how you felt about me, but I knew I had to take a risk and tell you how I felt. I knew I had to give it a try.

    “A couple of weeks later, when I returned, you were very shy as well. You’d written a letter of your own, which you read to me in LaFortune Park. You were so humble; it was so touching, so precious. We went through some bumps at first, but we cared for each other so we worked them out.

    “In those days a lot of other hardships were going on. My car was breaking down every week, but I always got it repaired in time to see you again. That seemed so hard at the time; but looking back, I see a good and a faithful purpose that has worked for our benefit ever since:

    “The happiness we were finding was hard won; it stemmed from a real dedication and sense of commitment: that we would never give up on each other, but always find a way. And that has given us something much more precious, which we share today.

    “As I look back over the last year, and compare it with our lives before we met, I see that we were actually beginning a journey together, though we may not have realized it at the time. When I think of our lives before and the happiness that has followed, I really can’t imagine a life without you anymore. I love you Nancy, and I always want to be with you.” (This is where tears came running down your cheek).

    “Nancy, if you feel the same way about me, I would be very happy if you would honor me by becoming my wife.” (You hesitated. Then I suddenly realized, ‘Oops, that’s not the same thing as asking!’)

    “Nancy, will you marry me?”

Nancy:

    When Loren asked me to marry him, I froze. I knew what I’d just been asked, but nothing in me could seem to respond in any way. I just stared back at him in silence for at least 40 seconds. Then, from deeply within me, I heard a loud, emphatic voice telling me: “Say ‘YES’!” and suddenly I was able to shake my mind loose and think again.

    “Yes, Loren,” I said. “I will marry you!” And when I spoke, I knew that it was the best decision I would ever make, besides asking Jesus to come into my heart. Loren said that his heart could be calm now, and start beating again!

    After a few minutes of rejoicing (hugs and kisses), he told me that he had one more surprise for me.

    “Though we still haven’t picked out rings, I wanted to give you something special tonight. I remember joking to you once, that I was going to get you a great big ring to wear around your neck, so everyone would know you’re mine. Well, this isn’t a ring, but it is something you can wear around your neck.” Then he presented me with the necklace I’d admired in a shop window two months earlier—the one I’d pointed out to him in passing. “Remember this?” he asked.

    “Of course I remember it!” I was amazed that he had remembered! We’d only seen it once and it hadn’t been mentioned again in all this time. I put it on and started crying all over again.

    The next morning I sent out an email to everyone I knew, to announce our engagement. The message was entitled: ‘Changes.’

Dear Family and Friends,

    “It is with great peace and joy that I wish to share with you the ‘earth-shaking’ news of my engagement to Loren Davies Bishop. Saturday evening, upon his knee, he spoke of his love and deep commitment to me, asking if I would marry him, to which I replied ‘Yes’. Miracles really do happen!

    We’re looking to have a ceremony at the end of May if possible, and we’ll keep you posted with more details. I’m reminded of a Black Gospel song, ‘God is a good God, Yes He is!’ and I thank Him with all of my heart for the gift He has given me.”

        Nancy

Loren:

    By the way, Nancy later told me that, based on the movie Moonstruck, she had wanted me to propose to her in the restaurant. But I can just imagine that 40 seconds of dead silence and that long, blank look she gave me, while I was down on one knee in front of all of those people. I think I would have died anew every second! And even if she’d eventually said ‘Yes,’ I would always have carried doubts as to whether she really meant it or if she was only saving me from further embarrassment.

    So bear in mind gals, that some things only work in the movies!