Introduction

 

    Christian romance is a journey in the footsteps of Jesus. From the initial acquaintance, a relationship may lead to friendship, to dating – and then the couple may fall in love. Courtship may follow as the relationship grows, possibly leading to marriage.

    If God has truly opened this door, He will guide you further, so it’s helpful to know His mind at each step. We all know that Christ and the church is the heavenly model for Christian marriage (Ephesians 5:20-33), but what about the searching, meeting and courtship days?

    In this book, Jesus becomes the example throughout: for He came to seek, meet and draw His bride to Himself; and we are still in that courtship phase today; for the marriage of the Lamb has not yet come (Luke 19:10; Matthew 25:6; John 12:32; Isaiah 62:5; John 3:29).

    Therefore, let us consider the whole concept: Jesus’ intention, from the very beginning, was marriage and this goal informed His actions at every step. Furthermore, He is the same yesterday, today, and forever, so He simply allowed those original terms of endearment to grow, becoming more serious as the relationship itself became more serious, just as a young sapling would grow into a mature tree of the very same kind. And fruitfulness came when we grew enough to reciprocate (Hebrews 13:8; James 4:8; Revelation 19:7).

    In a similar way, Christian courtship should always consider the potential of marriage with intentions that are constant, honorable and true throughout (Job 17:9; Psalms 84:7; Proverbs 4:18). This lays a foundation that will mature as the couple proves faithful at each step (1 Corinthians 3:11; Luke 16:10). In the lives of such a couple, Christ and the church will be reflected in a living way, and ever more brightly as their relationship grows.

    Thus, the reader will note a certain liberty this book has taken. Although many Christians go online simply to seek new friends, we assume that something more is possible. Should you meet the right sort of person, there is just that chance that it could lead to marriage. Internet matchmaking has become so prevalent in our society, and in the church itself, that a book of this nature has become needful and its practicalities should become common knowledge.

    Courtship, especially if it begins through the Internet, is about communication. It’s a time for sharing your thoughts, hopes and ideals honestly. Not everyone is well equipped for doing this, though we all have thoughts worth sharing. This book will hone your conversational skills and give you a new sense of ease over them, but it will also assist you in larger ways:

    Every chapter contains solid, scriptural truths about Christian courtship, with a good deal of reasoning behind each point. This has been done to jar your thinking, to make you consider why these things are so, and to help you correlate them with the example of Christ Himself and His bride to be. But it will also provide a sounding board for your own ideas:

    If you find points of disagreement here, confronting them will help you define your objections and nudge you toward a clearer expression of your own thoughts, help you come to terms with them, and coach you in expressing them to others. For no doubt you’ll discuss many of these same topics in the days to come.

    You may also allow this book to speak for you. If, for example, a difficult issue should rise and a relationship must end, but you haven’t the heart to explain yourself, you may simply refer your friend to the pages of this book and let the explanation come through me.

    As you begin this book, you’ll see that it is divided into four sections. The first pertains to you, to ensure that you are ready for a romantic adventure. An honest self-examination leads to a sense of promise that others may see, admire and respond to agreeably (2 Corinthians 13:5).

    In Section Two, we’ll discuss the criteria you should look for in another person, to find your best romantic prospects. Based on the scriptures and your own personality, this will show you what God Himself is seeking in a match for you, so you can learn to cooperate with His intentions.

    The third section will help launch your romantic quest by introducing the Christian matchmaking services online. It will acquaint you with the ways of this culture so you can fit in naturally.

    The final section will be the story of these same principles at work in my own courtship and marriage to Nancy, whom I met in this very way. We hope that our story will provide a living example of the things we advise.

    When I first heard of Internet sites for single Christians, many years ago, I was frankly skeptical. But a more objective part of me realized that our society was changing, that times were advancing, and that Internet relationships would soon be losing their sense of novelty. Advantages and disadvantages deserved exploring; but taking it all together, I believed they were the wave of the future. That thought encouraged me to remain open-minded and give them a fair try.

    As you read this book, I hope that you, too, will remain open-minded and learn to make the most of this opportunity. I hope and trust that you’ll find many new Internet friends in the very near future – and possibly one day from among them, a wonderful Christian spouse who will bring you as much happiness as Nancy and I have found.